Sadie leaned over and spoke to Conrad. “Tell her you’ll go along with whatever Dr. Phil tells you both to do.”
Conrad placed his hand over Bobbi Jo’s. “If you want me to go to Dr. Phil’s, I will. And whatever he says, I’ll abide by if you will. I‘m sorry honey that things turned out this way. I never meant for this to happen. You have to believe that.” Conrad’s face reflected surprise. He hadn’t planned to say that but in some ways, he thought he was sorry. He hadn’t felt this way about God when they met or even when they married. He wasn’t doing it out of spite. Nothing cataclysmic had happened to make this change. Just a slow erosion of belief.
Bobbi Jo looked at Conrad, the tiny lines in her face softening, and her love for him visible for the first time in months.
“But Bobbi Jo, I cannot think the way you want me to. I cannot walk away from my feelings. Even to please you. I would if I could, honey. I really would. But I cannot pretend to believe in God if I don’t. That would be a lie.”
Sadie whispered in his ear. “Play the love and respect card.”
“When we married,” Conrad went on. “We promised to love and respect each other. I respect your belief in Christ and your need to go to church.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Irving said. “He thinks she’s loony.”
“I can accept your need to bring up the kids with this belief. But I need you to respect my thoughts and beliefs. My choices. Why can’t we just agree to disagree? ”
“That’s not going to happen, Bubelah,” Sadie said into Conrad’s ear. “And you know it.”
Conrad wondered if he believed what he just said. The more he looked at Bobbi Jo, the more she resembled one of those vacant women in the movie The Stepford Wives, but he’d do what was necessary for the children.
“I do not believe for one minute that we can agree to disagree. You either accept Christ into your heart or you don’t. And for the sake of our children and their little souls, I will divorce you if it’s necessary.” Bobbi Jo’s jaw line hardened. Her eyes and thoughts seemed far away. “The devil has entered you,” she said quietly. “You are evil and I will pray for you.”
Then a shutter came down blotting out all the light in her eyes. “Maybe Dr. Phil can cure you. I pray to dear Jesus that he can. A car is coming for us at 6 AM.” She stood up and walked out of the room, her face and voice expressionless.
Irving patted where Sadie’s shoulder would have been were she alive. “Sometimes you just can’t win, no matter what you do.”
“I know, I know. Still…” Sadie said.
At the table, Conrad laid his head on his arms and thought about the witty brunette at the Atheist/Agnostic Non Believers group he attended. He mumbled, “Katelynne understands me better.”
Sadie said to Conrad, “Maybe so, but once the honeymoon phase is over, that’ll all change and you’ll be right back where you started.”
“I feel so powerless to make a difference,” Sadie told Irving.
“Now I know how God feels,” Irving observed glumly.
“Poor God,” said Sadie.
Irving and Sadie both sighed, reached for each other’s misty hand, and held on for dear life.
Mazel Tov on being a published author.
Al