Ursula really liked James; he was cute, tall, and dark. And she was always looking to be where he was, but I didn’t mind. James was cool. But Adam Alvarez made me nervous. He had huge brown eyes, a lot of dark hair, and was so skinny. Last time I saw him was at a party where we played seven minutes in heaven, and he told everybody he couldn’t kiss me because I wouldn’t open my mouth. I didn’t know until that day that I was supposed to open my mouth to kiss. While everyone was laughing he let his hand fall off my shoulder and slide over my butt, squeezing it in a creepy, gentle way right before I jumped outta his reach and almost outta my skin. “Who’s with them?”
“I don’t know, some other guys. Just come on.” She started walking, pulling her shorts out of her ass on the way to the gate.
James was outside Nino’s when we got there. Me and Ursula said “hey,” and started to go in, but he grabbed Ursula’s arm and pulled her back with him. She giggled, I swear. So I’m standing there not knowing where to go when they start sticking they tongues in each other’s mouths and James starts sliding his hand around inside Ursula’s shirt, and shit. Inside Nino’s, a bunch of boys from school are crowded around the new game, Space Invaders. No one was at the pinball machine. I ordered a slice and a root beer and then I was jus watching the boys hollering. The game was over with a lot of yelling so Nino had to tell them to keep it down, there other people there besides their sorry asses, but you know, there weren’t. And then Adam came out from the crowd—he musta been the one playing. He sees me and comes walking over all cool, doing his best diddy bop walk, jerking his head to get his too-long bangs out his huge round eyes. He says, “high scorer” to me like I’m going to be impressed.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yup. You gettin a slice?” He leaned his bony arm next to me on the counter.
I didn’t want to say yes cuz I knew he would hang out with me and I jus didn’t know if I wanted him to. It was weird. “Yeah, I ordered.” That’s when Nino slid my plate onto the counter and handed me my cup of soda. “See ya.” I took my food over to a booth, but Adam was right behind me. The booths at the pizza parlor were dark wood, kinda closed in and didn’t have a whole lotta light in them, so kids was always messing around in them. So I sit down to eat, and instead of sitting across from me, Adam slides in next to me. I can feel his leg on my leg. It feels warm and I like it.
“You goin to Indira’s party on Saturday?”
I’m trying to eat without dripping grease or burning the roof of my mouth on the boiling sauce hiding under the cheese, trying not to have cheese hanging from my mouth, so my answer comes out like, “Mmmph,” but Adam doesn’t notice or care.
“Me and Mike’s goin,” he says, “Indira’s got a new stereo and we’re gonna be dancing and stuff.” He keeps talking, talking. I don’t even know what he’s saying anymore because now his hand is on my leg.
When his hand starts moving up my leg it feels good but doesn’t, anymore, too, and I say, “what the fuck, man?” but he just smiles.
“I like you,” he says, “you pretty for a white girl.” Then his hand gets real high and I jump and try to leave but he’s in the way and I’m so freaked I climb over the table to get out the booth.
“I didn’t say you could touch me, asshole!” And now I’m out the door and Ursula and James are gone and I’m headed back uptown. Fucking Ursula.
Over the top edge of the newspaper I can see my daughter, Molly, standing in the doorway, tall and lean, the beginnings of breasts on her thin frame, with her curly red hair just all over the place. She is the most gorgeous twelve-year-old I’ve ever seen. She’s picking at the hem of her T-shirt the way she does when she’s anxious or trying to figure out something. I pretend not to notice; she’ll talk when she’s ready.
“Mom, do I have to go to Hebrew school tomorrow? Jasmine is having people over.” Molly flops down in the armchair next to where I am on the couch and throws her legs over the arm, then turns to look at me expectantly.
“Is it a special occasion?” I ask, not yet lowering my paper from view. It’s Sunday, and I just want to sit, drink coffee, read. My husband is out with the dog. She hesitates. I have my answer.
“Well, no. It’s just that everyone is going—Thomas, Edgar, Stacey, Vanessa—you know.”
I put the paper down and motion to her to come sit with me. She immediately snuggles into my side, head on my chest. I stroke her hair, her beautiful silky hair. “Sweetie, if it were a birthday party or something, I might say yes, but I think not this time.”
“C’mon, Mom—please? They’re always doing stuff without me.”
It is so hard sometimes! I know exactly how she feels. “What will you miss if you don’t go to class?”
She picks her head up so suddenly, she nearly breaks my jaw, narrowly missing me. She sees her chance, and she’s all smiles now. “We’re going over the same exact chapter in the language book we did last time, the one I did all the assignments for, and we’re supposed to practice some of the shirim.”
“Okay. But no more this term, understand? And be home by 6:30, no exceptions.” She wraps her arms around my waist, giving me a squeeze, then a peck on the cheek before she skips out of the room, no doubt to try on thirty outfits in preparation for hanging out in Jasmine’s room.
Yo Sis,
Playin hookie in the projects!
Tsk, Tsk
Love Ya